My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
