i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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