Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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