yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
