the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
