Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
