i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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