He had one of those small greek statue penises
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
