Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
