Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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