now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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