Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
