ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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