At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize