i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
