Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
