I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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