You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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