no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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