Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am one with the molecules
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
