And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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