Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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