come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
