On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
