Whoa Z and x make the same sound
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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