i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
