you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
