I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
