So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
