this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
