Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
