Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
