Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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