oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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