She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
