tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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