Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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