We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
