I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
