Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
