the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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