i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
