party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
