i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
