You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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