I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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