Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
