K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
