I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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