i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize