it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
