i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize