is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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