I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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