A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
