I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
