Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
