I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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