i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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