Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You made out with two different species that night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
